37

It's strange to me that I haven't actually made a birthday post in a few years.  When I got up this morning, it was one of the things I told myself I wanted to do and when I tried to find my last few posts I realized I hadn't.  Maybe I'm becoming a little senile in my old age.

In all seriousness, this one is a strange birthday.  I'm definitely starting to feel my age, both physically and mentally.  Physically, it's just harder to stay in shape.  I haven't trained for a marathon in a while, and so this is probably contributing to this, but when I go out for a run my times are significantly slower than they once were.  On the mental side, it's harder to stay focused for long periods of time.  I actually feel pretty drained after a long day of thinking.

But when I think about my life in general, I have to say I really don't have much to complain about.  I recently asked my wife if she could change one thing, anything, about our life now so that it would make us happier she said she wouldn't change anything.  I admit, I really am not sure what I would change either.  Marriage is good.  Job is good.  We are all healthy.  Not much we are want for.

Since the last time I wrote this, my startup closed and I took a job at Google.  I think a few years ago I would have not been happy at a company like Google but having done the startup I think I gained perspective.  I'm not sure I would describe it as getting the startup route "out of my system" but it was something close to that.  I think I may someday try to go out on my own again but that someday isn't anytime soon.

I'm actually pretty happy at Google which is saying something since I'm 2 years in and I tend to think this is when dissatisfaction starts.  Things aren't perfect, but they are good enough for now and that's saying something.

The dog is wonderful.  Things were a little dicey last time I wrote about him but I chalk it up him being a puppy.    It was one of those things that before I got him, I wasn't sure we were really ready for but now that we have him, I wouldn't give him up for the world.  It's made me think that maybe children might be in the future for us.

Speaking of which, it is something my wife and I have discussed in a very serious way and something I'm a lot less afraid of happening than before.  It's now at the point where I think its more likely than not that we do have children.

One of the things I thought a lot about this year is things vs experiences.  Usually its in the context of thinking about when I might "retire" and what I want to be doing.  One of the things driving this decision for me is what I want to spend my money on now and then.  What crystalized in my mind this year was how much more I value experiences over things.  Granted, I've been frugal with myself on buying material items and much less so on experiences like vacations but I don't think that's an accident.  My best memories are all the times I did things with my wife.  They are never about joy I received because I bought or owned something.

Take this past year.  I travelled to Tokyo.  I explored the city and I went to the famous Sukiyabashi Jiro.  It, and the whole trip, was just awesome.  My wife and I constantly talk about it and it brings joy to us every time we do.  Its things like this where we want to focus our attention.

Honestly, not much is bad in my life.  My biggest current problem is that I earned a lot of money this last year (thanks to a bunch of stock vesting) and now I have a very large tax bill to account for.   I guess the other thing is that I do feel like I'm a little bit too busy with work.  I would like to have some spare time to explore other things I'm interested in but can't seem to find the time to do it.  The real kicker is that while i'm not doing badly, I wish I was doing better so the effort isn't commensurate withe the return.   Need to try  to find a way to get that in balance.

But seriously, those are my big problems.  Not too bad really.  It's a little strange because for the last several years, life just seems like it gets better and better.  Is that sustainable?  Is all of a sudden, things will do the opposite?  Let's hope not.

34

I wrote on this blog exactly one year ago today because I've kept up a tradition where I make a post on my birthday and reflect back on the past year to see how things have changed.

Last year, I lamented how not much had changed in my life from the previous year. Where, sometimes you get exactly what you ask for because this year has been the exact opposite of that.

Starting at the top things are as good as they could possibly be with the wife. I'm going on year two of marriage and things are as good now as they have ever been. I'm actually going on the 7th year of my relationship and I can honestly say that its as good now as it has ever been. She has been less busy with school this year than in the past but that's because of the two big changes that came this year.

First big change came with the job. This time last year, I was optimistic that things would work out at my previous job. I had actually cancelled a planned vacation because I was supposed to begin work on a project that could fundamentally change my company's business. As it turned out things did change but not necessarily for the better. I don't want to get into details, but that project didn't turn out and a lot of other things just happened which made me reevaluate what I was doing.

In the end, I realized that I only had a limited window to really pursue my dreams of starting my own business. There wasn't much holding me back, more fear than anything else, so I decided to quit my job and do my own startup. It hasn't been an easy road. In fact, it has turned out way harder than I would have thought. Most of the problems I feel I've faced have been due to not having a partner on this with me full time. That will be fixed in another two weeks but its a lesson I hope never to repeat.

We haven't made great progress on the business. This is mostly due to the fact that we threw out our original idea and started over in January. But I'm excited about the idea we are pursuing and even more excited that my partner is coming on full time and we are so close to launch. Cross your fingers that by this post next year, I'll have a lot more good things to say about my business.

The other big change in my life is due to me and my wife getting a dog. I've always wanted a dog but for various reasons never got one. That all changed in the beginning of January. I stopped on one of my long runs at the local Humane Society. Sitting in one of the cages was one of the cutest puppies you have ever seen. I showed the wife and there was no stopping us adopting the little guy. The first month was rough, puppies are a lot of work, but now he is a happy addition to our home.

At first, the dog and the cat didn't get along and I'll be honest and say I was worried about it. The cat is getting up their in age. No major health problems this year but having a hyper-active puppy around is not his idea of fun. He hissed and growled a lot at the beginning but he is slowly starting to accept the dog as his brother. He doesn't want to get near him or have anything to do with him, but then again that was the way it was with my brother too.

I'm still running a lot. No basketball at all this last year but plenty of running. I didn't run in the LA marathon this year and that was due to a host of injuries I just kept having. I switched to more of a barefoot running style and am in the process of building up my mileage again. I hope to run in the SD marathon which is slated to begin in June. I've become somewhat of an evangelist when it comes to the benefits of running and specifically minimalist shoe running. :It really resonated with me after I read Born to Run.

I've become very active on the Social Media front. I started posting regularly on Google+ and then Facebook and have done very well when it comes to generating a following and engagement. I need to explore Twitter more but the short format doesn't really resonate with someone as verbose as I am.

It's pretty much settled that I'm not getting a house anytime soon. Now that I'm totally focused on a startup and all my funds are allocated there, no real chance I'm going to buy a house anytime soon. Same thing about a kid. Getting the puppy, and seeing how much work it is, made me and the wife realize that maybe child care is not for us. I think she is even more sure than I am about the whole thing.

33 was a great year. I think I will look back on it and realize it was a big turning point in my life. I just hope 34 is even better and more fun.

33

Wow, I reached another palindrome age. I am continuing the tradition of posting on my birthday despite the fact that I rarely post on this blog anymore since I moved to the other blog. I figured I would keep all these posts together and maybe look back someday at all of them to see how the years flew by.

And boy did this year fly by. The thing is, not all that much changed from 32. I'm sure as I get older less and less change will happen year by year but it is still odd to me how little things can change in one year.

Let's start at the top. This is my first full year of marriage and I have to say things are great. Surprises me a little bit how smooth everything has been and how I seem to love my wife a little bit more every day. You think you reach the maximum level and then you just blow right by it.

She is still very busy with school so it causes us to spend less time than I would like. She is still splitting her time between work and school but I know she is eager to drop the work and do the school full time. The only roadblock at this point is my own job situation. We don't want her to give up her job if there is any chance I might give up mine. She is showing some real skill in her work and I have actually been surprised at times how much talent she is exhibiting.

And that brings me to my job. Funny, status isn't a heck of a lot different than last year. The reasons for me staying are the same. I have influence and I am important to the company. In fact, I'm about to undertake a key strategic initiative that has a real chance to transform the company. Whether we actually have the will to do it remains to be seen but I'm cautiously optimistic. I did get a promotion, and now am differentiated from some of my peers, but I still wish to get to the VP tier and I'm not sure when that will happen. I have started lightly looking around to see what other opportunities exist but that's all I have done. I haven't made the commitment to totally jump ship yet.

One thing I did accomplish that I posted about last year was running a marathon. I ran in the LA marathon a week ago. The time I had wasn't what I wanted but I finished it which was the important thing. I'll have to do it again just to get a better time so I expect that to be changed by this time next year.

If it were possible, I spent even less time in the gym this year than last. Of course that was balanced out by the fact I ran a marathon. Couldn't really get behind running on a treadmill so most of my exercise has been outdoors. Barely played any basketball this year. Can really only remember one time I even got into a game. I think that part of my life is over. Just don't enjoy playing pick up basketball like I used to. Everyone is just getting younger while I'm getting older :) Truth be told, haven't even followed the Lakers as closely as I used to. Part of that is just that they are frustrating this year. Actually upsets me to watch them. But it also may just be a waning interest.

Bandit is really starting to show his age. He had some problems this year. In one incident, he wouldn't eat and kept throwing up. He eventually got over that but he worried the heck out of us. Today, he actually has a problem with his left eye. It caused us to not do our original Birthday plans which was to go to Vegas. We hope it is nothing too serious, the Vet said it should hopefully be fine, but we might take him to a specialist in a week.

No movement whatsoever on the kid and house front. Neither are likely in the near term and it looks increasingly unlikely we will ever have kids. So don't hold your breath on that one.

That pretty much sums it up. Let's hope for another great year.

32

Continuing my tradition of blogging on my birthday (or in this case the day after) I will now post a blog about how 31 was and how I hope 32 will be.

Overall it has been a fantastic year. No big surprises and that in itself is pretty pleasant. The biggest news by far was my wedding which took place in October. We did a destination wedding and ended up having what I can only describe as the most perfect wedding I could have possibly had. The setting was amazing and the memories were wonderful. I'm not a huge fan of travelling somewhere where I can't speak the native language but we managed to get by and had a great time doing it.

Job wise things are OK as well. There are times I think I need to look elsewhere, and I may eventually do that, but it isn't for anything more than having the itch to do something a little more meaningful than the things I do now. The opportunities for advancement at my job are great. I'm considered one of the top performers in the company and my future will be bright if I decide to stay there. I have major influence on the things we work on and I like the feeling of having my decisions matter. The only drawback is always what is next. I'm not sure we have a great roadmap laid out in front of us but what company ever has all the answers? At least at my current job, I have a pretty big say in what gets on that roadmap.

Everything else is pretty much the same. The cat is another year older but who of us isn't? I'm actually starting to feel my age in very meaningful ways. While 32 is not old, it isn't young anymore either. My body doesn't heal as quickly anymore and I get sore from doing things I really shouldn't. I've started playing softball again and I'm sore from doing that a few days after our games on Sunday. We are talking softball here.

I did start training for that marathon but I never could commit to it the way I wanted to so I didn't end up running it. I will try again to find the time and energy to do it this year and run the LA marathon before I post this blog next year. I am going to attempt to commit to work out more than I have since turning 31. My attendance at the gym was horrific this past year. By far the worse year I have ever had. Got to try and turn this one around.

My wife has started studying to be an interior designer in earnest. Most of her time is spent taking classes and doing her homework. This doesn't leave a lot of time for us but it is her dream and I have come to the conclusion that one of us should be able to do something they are passionate about. Since I like work (I'm just not passionate about it) and I can actually support us on my salary, the natural choice for this benefit is her. I just hope she is really happy doing this.

People always ask me about either kids or a house. The answer to both right now is no. Definitely no to the kids. I don't see that in our future at all. Our stance on this might change over time but given that both of us seem to be focused on other things I don't think it will change soon. Lots of my friends are having kids now but I've never been one to do things just because everyone else was.

Equally unlikely is us getting a house. Housing, despite the fall, is still way overpriced, especially in our neighborhood. Still seems ridiculous to me that a household in the top few percent in terms of income can only afford what amounts to a mid level house. Until that equation changes I will be sitting on the sideline. For those who have followed my blog over the years, you know I've been complaining about this for over five years. That's five years of patience on my part. No need to get anxious now, even if it is another five years.

One odd thing that has happened is I'm spending a lot less time investing my money. This is especially odd to me because I would have thought securing my future would become more important to me as I got older and as I started my family but lately I haven't had the motivation to track things that closely. Investing right takes discipline and time and it hasn't been something I've been willing to spend that much time doing. I really do hope to change that this coming year.

31

Every year I post something on my birthday, so this year should be no different.

Yesterday, I turned 31. I blew right past 30 and have now landed at 31. What a year. I barely remember most of it. I would like to say it was not a very exciting year. It certainly started off that way.

I am getting to the point where it seems like the days, weeks, months and years kind of blend into each other. When I have conversation with old friends the talks are brief even though we may not have talked for several months. Not much changes in my life. Work is work and life is life.

However, this year a few big things have changed. The biggest event of the year is that I got engaged. I will admit, I never thought I would get here. I never thought I would meet someone who fits me so well like my fiancee does but here I am six months away from my wedding. By the time I write this post next year I will be a married man.

Work has definitely changed from last year. At this time a year ago, work had gone from something new and exciting to something kind of mundane. I was not thrilled with my position, something that would get worse in the months that followed my post last year. But things at work turned the corner. We had several layoffs and reorganizations. My role is quite different in the company now and for me it is a much better opportunity. This is exactly the type of growth and opportunity I wanted for myself when I quit my last job so I am very happy that at least this part of that risk ended up paying off.

There are still some challenges in front of me, things are not perfect, but work rarely if ever is. I actually was able to convince a good friend and an old co-worker to come work for me, so it kind of feels like old times and that makes it kind of nice.

There have been lots of little changes. The kitty is still great. He has become more needy as he gets older and now has a very annoying habit of meowing constantly at the most inconvenient of times. Nevertheless, we still love him and I think he is mostly content with his life. I definitely do not play as much basketball as I used to. Too bad really. I do no think I've played a game of basketball this calendar year, something that would have been unheard of just a year or two ago. Most of it is lack of time, some of it is lack of motivation. However, I do plan to eventually run in a marathon. It is something I will have to pick up in the coming months if I want to be in shape for it next year.

It is hard to imagine that 31 will be as good as 30 but I certainly hope it is. The wedding is going to be lots of fun and work is on the uptrend. While I think most of my focus will be on wedding planning and the new responsibilities at work, I am also thinking hard about what I am going to do not in the next year, but in the subsequent following years. By this time next year, I hope to have an idea about long term prospects that today I just do not have a plan around.

30

As is tradition, I like to write a post on my birthday to kind of reflect on the last year or so.

The past year has seen some big changes for me. A year ago I was still with Microsoft and living in Seattle. I never thought then that I would end up back in California before my next birthday post. At that time, I was still cautiously optimistic that I would be able to make a career of it at Microsoft. Shortly after that birthday, I realized that was never going to happen and so I left the company.

As I wrote I should last year, I did take a big, yet calculated risk. I'm glad I didn't just sit on that one and not do anything about it. I quit my nice cushy Microsoft job for nothing. I didn't have any other prospects and to be honest didn't want to work for a while. Like I wrote, I just didn't feel on track with where I wanted to be. I felt behind when I like to run ahead.

It took me by surprise that I took a job as quickly as I did but it was an opportunity that put me back squarely where I wanted to be in terms of not only my career trajectory but location. Los Angeles is much nicer than Seattle, and I'm glad to be back. Early on, things are OK with the job. It isn't one big party, but I took this job knowing there were going to be some difficulties. I just thought the problems I would tackle would be slightly different. The opportunity is here to make a big quantum leap for me with a host of responsibilities that would have taken me a decade or so to get at a place like Microsoft.

Everything else is good in life. Bandit definitely enjoys being back where the sun is bright and he can lazily lounge by the window. Girlfriend hasn't moved back down with me yet from Seattle, but she is on her way shortly. Things are going great with her and we probably will take that next step before this post next year.

Not sure what 30 is going to bring or what I hope for it. It's a milestone year really. All my friends are married and most are having kids. Not sure I'm destined for the latter one any time soon. As I contemplated this birthday I realized that I'm a dozen years away from when I started college. A dozen years just doesn't seem like it can be that long ago. You know you are old when you start talking about how fast time goes by and how you remember back when ....

29

Even though I don't blog nearly as much as I want to, I nevertheless want to blog on my birthday. It gives me a chance to look back each year to see where I was the previous year and kind of take an assessment of where my life has gone.

My last year's blog seems almost prophetic. 28 was indeed a very good and very lucky year. It went by amazingly fast, I can't believe I've been in Seattle for a year, but it's been a good year. As unreal as it sounds, things are even better with my girlfriend. You would think that after almost two years together, we would hit some rough patches or get sick of each other, but I can honestly say that things are better now than they have ever been.

Bandit the Wonder Kitty is also fantastic. I think he misses Smokey at times but he seems to genuinely like being an only child. He is still fat, something I keep meaning to work on, but he is content to just sit on my lap even as I type this.

Job is good although my initial enthusiasm for the job has been tempered somewhat. Microsoft is a great place to work with wonderful benefits and some good opportunities. Like any job, it has its problems. There are times I'm frustrated, there are times I'm very frustrated. But I think back on what life was like before, and well I guess I don't have much to complain about. Do I see this as a permanent stopping point in life. No. But it has made a nice little waypoint

29. My last year to be in my twenties. Just seems odd. Am I where I thought I would be at this age? Probably not. I probably have some catching up to do, but I've been doing that all my life and I relish the opportunity to do it again. So far, I think I've taken the safe road and the road has been good to me. Should I continue to do that or should I use the last few years of my youth to take on some serious risk? The advantages of youth are a real lack of responsibility and the time to make up for anything in your life you screw up. Is it time to do it? If not now, when?

28

Today I turn 28. 28 is actually a lucky number for me. It is not only the day of my birthday, but it is also the day my sister and brother were born. In fact, every child born with my family name in America is born on the 28th. Kind of strange huh?

It has been quite a year. It really doesn't seem like a year ago I was taking a break and visiting Jenny in Princeton. A year ago I wasn't living with my girlfriend, I hadn't even met her yet. I was still living in California and I was still at my previous job.

So much has changed, and I must say it has all been for the better. I'm much happier in this time and space than I have been in a long time.

[sappy]

The largest contribution to that change in attitude is no doubt the girlfriend who always manages to put a smile on my face. I love that I have someone to share my day with after a long day at work. I love that she always takes such good care of me, even when I am a pain in the ass. I love that I never feel lonely anymore because I get to wake up next to her everyday

[/sappy]

Also a major factor is the change of job. The job isn't perfect but its a vast improvement over the previous employer. The work is just a lot more interesting. It's good to try and solve problems that actually matter to a large majority of people. I joke about it at work but here is the sad statistic. I spent 4.5 years at my previous employer. In that time I worked on several small projects but spent most of the effort on 2 major products. By the time I left, we had sold exactly 1 unit each of those products. ONE EACH!!

Compare that to the more than 1,000,000 subscribers we will in all likelihood reach with my next product and you can see the vast change in scope I am working on. True, my indvidual role is much more limited in my current job. But even so, it isn't 1,000,000x less.

What a year. I can't imagine that my 29th year on this planet can bring about any more change than my 28, but hey you never know.

27

Today I turn 27. Its an odd kind of age for me. I feel much older now than I use to.

For me, 27 seems to me to be where you really are a full adult. You don't really have the excuse that you young anymore. I feel like life really begins now, that I need to be down the path of who I am going to become. Maybe it is just me being overly ambitious but I feel I need to get my life on this path now and waiting much longer will make it too late.

There has been a lot of introspection lately and probably more to come. I can't get everything I'm feeling down right now but I'm sure it will come over time.

For today I'm not worrying too much about it. I'm going to walk around Princeton for a little bit and later head back up to the city to have dinner with my college roommate. Back to California tomorrow.