Sucks to Be Asian Male

Thursday, April 28, 2005
I was thinking about it and I realized that there is no really no advantage to being Asian male. I'm not saying it is hard to be Asian Male, I'm just saying you have not built in advantage in society. In different parts of society each racial-sex combination has its advantages. I'll admit I'm sure my viewpoint might be a little skewed so if you can think of something I'm missing please feel free to add. I'm going to list a few examples.

I AM NOT SAYING IT IS BETTER OR WORSE TO BE ANY COMBINATION. I AM NOT SAYING I BUY INTO THESE STEREOTYPES. I want to be clear about this. I don't buy into most stereotypes but I recognize that they exist. While certain combinations have advantages in some areas they are more than offset by disadvantages in others. I'm just saying that in no category does it pay to be Asian Male.

Getting into school - This one has advantages for anyone who is not Asian-male or White-Male. Every other combination can find some school where preference is given to that particular combination. White-Male may be neutral in most regards but there is a definite disadvantage to be Asian-Male at most undergraduate schools and almost all Medical and Business Schools.

Getting a Job - Again, advantages for most females. In most male dominated industries, and those that tend to pay better, females have an advantage at companies looking for diversity. Even though companies are not supposed to discriminate the only way they can't is to do it. It's a strange paradox.

In Hollywood - Definitely does not pay to be Asian-Male. If you are Asian-Male you never get the girl. You are only portrayed as someone who either A) Knows Kung-Fu B) is part of the Asian Mafia (and you of course still know Kung Fu)

Dating - This one is the kicker and really what got me thinking about this. Females have the clear advantage in this as race doesn't really factor into this too much. There are few negative stereotypes for women here although I think maybe black-female might have some negative stereotypes associated.

The Asian-Male stereotype is awful. We are usually seen as non-aggressive, feminine, and my favorite having smaller than average, ahem, equipment. These are not things that endear the Asian-Male to most females. I actually had a recent experience where a girl told me she was kind of worried about dating me (she hadn't dated anyone Asian before) because of the horror stories that some of her girlfriends told her. They told her over and over again that the stereotype of Asian-Males was true, that they were horrible kissers, and that they just didn't "measure up" to other guys.

One person try to say, but you have the advantage that people assume you are smart. How is that an advantage when it has no practical application? It won't help you get into school, get a job, and we have already seen it won't get you the girl.

Any thoughts?

69 comments:

David Cho said...

People assume I know Karate, so they don't mess with me. I think people like that exist. Have yet to meet one. But I'm sure they are out there. Hoping to meet someone like that one day. Hey Jenny, you are one of the few women who haven't messed with me. Is it because you think I know Karate?

The girl who said she was worried about dating you, was she a Whiggie(see third posting)? My goodness, I'd have a much better chance with a daughter of a KKK Grand Wizard than some of these women I've come across in Southern California. BTW, I've been seeing a woman who is not an Asian for a couple of months. She has yet to bring up anything about race even after hearing my lame Asian jokes. Kinda weird.

It seems like I've come across more and more people who don't give a rip about race, which I think is a VERY health thing.

David Cho said...

As to racial discrimination, I think it is a lot more difficult to be black in this country than being an Asian male.

As they say, the grass is greener on the other side...

T said...

Yes, David, I agree it is probably harder to be Black-Male than Asian-Male but that is why I put the disclaimer that this isn't about what is harder to be, it is about the fact that in society there isn't any advantage.

Black Males have some huge disadvantages in some parts of society which probably outweigh any advantages.

My point is simply Asian males have no advantages and have a few small disadvatages.

David Cho said...

Good job, Amanda. I will have to digest what you have to say before agreeing or disagreeing. You have some excellent observations. You are saying those negative steretypes are shared by Jewish men too? Never heard that before.

I will probably write a blog about characteritics of people who are color blind vs race conscious. I've met my share of both.

There was this one guy at work who could not go through a single conversation with me without injecting race somehow. When I would say something like, "This doctor was a little rude." He'd say, "What was his nationality?"

It was a miracle that I did not clock this guy. Boy it **really** unnerved me to no end every time he did it. I had planned to lash out and scream, "WTF cares?" next time he did it, but we both got laid off the same day and I never saw him again. Man, I can see smoke coming out my ears just thinking about it.

T said...

Amanda, that is an interesting viewpoint about children and not one I necessarily considered. However, I would simply counter by saying it does a Asian-Man no good when he grows up. Of course the converse is true too, Asians aren't considered to be good at any sports but I was looking for advantages and not trying to list disadvantages so I still think your comment holds water.

About the promotion thing. I guess I am a little bit biased. I just don't see that sort of discrimination going on and I don't know if Asian men have an advantage.

I would probably agree with you that Men have an advantage over women in some cases, most noticeably in getting to management (I still think female engineers have an advantage), but I think white men have a clear advantage over everyone else. I know Asian men suffer from the problem that people think we are very technically oriented with poor people and communication skills. This hampers the Asian-man's ability to get promoted to the management level.

So all that being said I still think Asian-MEN have no advantages.

Anonymous said...

I would like to make a comment. it won't be as profound as the other comments, but regardless I want to state my opinion.
First, one of my very first crushes was a HOT Asian Male. He was a gentleman, and he just had great moves.
I think Asian men are HOT! I was recently in EPOCT center in Disney and I was in Japan watching the HOT ASIAN MEN play their drums. I was very happy at that moment. The Weak in the knees action kicks in for a HOT ASIAN.
And there are famous Asian celebrities. What about that Daniel Day Kim from LOST. He's HOT and he's successful. I am sorry you feel it Sucks to be Asian Male. Prove everyone wrong. You are a good kisser, (go prove it to everyone) --- I would be happy to be a volunteer ;)
Just don't give up and be proud of who you are. You are a well loved guy with great friends who love you very much... ASIAN, BLACK, WHITE OR YELLO@

T said...

OK, let me just say it one thing. I love being me. I don't think anyone who knows me would say I lack confidence or that I'm not proud to be Asian.

I do not feel it "Sucks" to be Asian. I meant to title to be a little tongue and cheek. I do stand by the fact that there are no obvious advantages to being an Asian-Male but that does not mean I don't like being Asian male or that being Asian-Male is harder or worse than anything else.

Sure there are exceptions to everything. Sure there are famous, rich, successful, hot, Asian-Males. I'm sure there are some employers who prefer Asian-Male employees. I'm just trying to make a very broad, society-wide, generalization.

Everyone has things they must overcome in life; nobody's life is perfect. I just thought it was kind of strange that I couldn't think of any obvious advantages.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled on to this web site, and T, if you're an asian guy, man let me tell you. You don't know what you have.

For exmaple, look at black people - they can resist skin cancer, they have the finest motor skills and connection to their bodies of any race, and they are capable of developing immense muscles. Thats why they dominate in sports. Now there are black people out there with issues with their race too, but these people don't know what they are blessed with. They have some superior genetics that other races often don't have access to.

Now, lets look at east asians; we have the highest average IQ of any race. Look at the wikipedia article for race and intelligence. As asians, we litterally have bigger heads; we have more cranial space than any race. You have focus and intelligence out the yin-yang. ( At least you are more likely to. ) We had written exams and paper money and mail routes hundreds of years before europe. Not only could we make cars, but we could makes cars BETTER and more reliable than the american car companies. Ask any mechanic about the reliabilty of japanese vs american cars. Every race has some advantage about them, and thats why you should be proud of being what you are. You should study asian history - the wars and stuff. Our ancestors were some BADASS mother fuckers.

Now, if you're having problems with getting into school, getting a job, or getting a girl, man, you won't do any better until you stop blaming your race, stereotypes, hollywood, or whatever. It is YOUR responsibilty to be successful. The world out there can be prejudiced but get over it. Are you ABOVE the negativity and prejudice of the world or BELOW it?

You should take bruce lee as an example. Do you think he made excuses to get in school? No he has a degree in philosophy. Do you think he has any problem getting a female? no, he doesn't. Do you think he had any problem with hollywood? Well actually he did, because at the time the idea of an asian american star hasn't been done before. (it was a new idea at the time) He suffered defeat when they picked some white guy to play the role for his scripts instead of him. He certainly suffered discrimination when it came to hollywood. But his attitude was that he was ABOVE the challenges, and he won. Thats why he's a star. He didn't complain about how hollywood didn't offer asian males of roles, he fought for (sometimes literally) what he believed in and he won. So why watse time complaining that hollywood doesn't offer asian males certain roles? Did bruce lee complain hollywood didn't give asian males roles or did he man up and claim his place as a legend in movie history? Get over it, the world is unfair, its YOUR responsibilty to man up the to the challenge.

T said...

To the commenter above, you should

A) Read my whole blog
B) Take a reading comprehension course

How many times did I have to say in this post that I DO NOT THINK IT SUCKS TO BE ASIAN. Or that I do not think it is harder to be Asian than another race. In fact, I think its easier. I won't go into how many things you misunderstood in my post, or my following comments. Read the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about this lately, why I got to this page.

Anywho, I'd just like to say it's not so much being Asian, but you got to have personality and not be a computer geek.

Also important is height, and typically older Asian men like me are short, so that reduces my chances even more. But hey thats how God made me and His plan in store for me, I'm fine with.

I'm happy to see generally, the younger Asians growing taller though. I'm like tall is better, go tall.

Then again, these generational things, happen one to the next.

Anonymous said...

totally get where you're coming from but you know what - on the whole topic of 'getting the girl' i think that some asian guys are pretty damn good looking!
i live in Australia and there are an insane amount of asian migrants here in Melbourne, some of which are uite attractive.
don't worry to much - just keep an eye out for girls like me and everything will be alright

;)

Anonymous said...

i am a one hot arse asian male. hi lisa.

Anonymous said...

On the bright side... since we are perceived apparently less threatening than males of other races... we can really ramp up the aggressiveness when we are spitting game to non-asian females... so you can probably do things that most other guys can't get away with. That is probably one plus, if your an optomist. This is an idea that pua AsianPlayboy had articulated.

I will say it is annoying when people assume that you are not the kung-fu master type.. but the scared investment banker type when you are at bars... they have no idea how close they come to getting stabbed..... =)

Anonymous said...

I have spent 4.5 years of my life with Asians. no offense but they are the most rude, racist, and hard to get along with. in a whole world.

Jade Jackson said...

This is bs :(
Asians are the most beautiful type of male out there. Why can't you learn to love yourself for the things you have instead of complaining about things you don't have?
You are beautiful! Some features that you have are extremely striking!
( I do confess, I'm in love with the hair :) )
I'm an Afghan girl by the way:P
Now go act like the stud you are, and bag some girls :P

Hot Asian Guys blog said...

This site will be "proof" for what you say???
http://hotasianguys.blogspot.com
Huh?

Anonymous said...

i believe that we (Asian ) have smaller than other races. but I convince my self to proud be Asian. n0 thing can change that fact.

Fluffy Clark said...

I gotta say. It most definitely is hard to be an asian male. Anyway, I started a blog where I write angry letters against the injustice of asian males. Check it out!!

http://angryquietasianman.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I'm glad im not asian LOL , im white but more like italian white (brown hair , brown eyes), every race loves me hahaha.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you've stated in this article. Literally, everything.

I'm a black male and I've chosen to have asian males/females for the majority of my friends. I have heard, and sometimes personally seen, almost all of the stereotypes and disadvantages you've listed happening to my male asian friends. All of your arguments make logical sense, and they are backed with personal experience. That's what I like to see. Great job.

p.s. It's funny to read all the comments people wrote about "Cheer up, you're beautiful!" and other pick-me-up comments. And also the ignorant skip-reading-the-intro-paragraph commenters.

Unknown said...

I love Chinese and Japanese men, I think they are sexy and the fact that they have no body hair(limited chest, legs etc) is supper hot. I grew up surfing so I do not see much body hair. Unfortunately for me:( I live in FL where there are only Filipino men(Spanish looking not Asian) When I visit CA I am asked out by Asian men but darn it I do not live there.Thinking about selling my awesome home in FL to move to CA where the Asian men are!! I grew up not being allowed to look at men...strict parents(German, Dutch Decent)

Unknown said...

Asian men stay fit longer. I have been an athlete my entire life waiting for a fit/smart male, now that I am 40 MD's at work and men that use to be Fit ask me out but they are FAT...Seriously unhealthy and lazy, sure they have money but I prefer a playful, lifelong relationship with someone fit and intelligent. Asian men have the values my family members have..HONOR, INTEGRITY and I cannot say this enough Asian men are SEXY..So if you are Chinese or Japanese, we silly American girls of substance are so attracted to you..

Anonymous said...

Well, I personally think asian guys are smoking hot!!!! I have dated many and been married to one, I am currently engaged to another one also. I think asians are lucky in that they have a lower body fat percentage or high metabolism or something. Not many seem to have a weight problem. None of my asian ex's had body odor. They didnt even use deodorant, they didnt need it. They have very little body hair, i think thats sexy. Gorgeous shiny black hair, beautiful dark eyes and skin! Usually a culture that values education and ambition. Physical fitness, respect for their elders, good at math. Feng shui in the home, clean and uncluttered. What's not to like????
Asian food is awesome too. I am hooked!!

lucia said...

Hello...i have korean friends..and i like very much asian men.:D.They seem sooo atractive:D (especially korean and japanese men)...and i'm white..:D

I haven't dated one yet...but i'm doing my best to find the right one..:)

About the stereotypes....i heard from one of my friends that they are not so good in bed:D...but the person who told me liked asian girls.

ps. it doesn't matter if u are white, black, latino or asian, it's the person's character that counts.:)
ps 2. sorry if my english is not so good, it's not my home language..i just learned it at school:D

Anonymous said...

Try imagine having a combination of black male and Asian male stereotypes.Wrapped into one. I am black ,but very short. I had the stigma of being bookish in school and focused on grades instead of sports. when i was younger i studied martial arts. I understand the height thing on a deeper level. Asian men are discriminated because of height.Women do ignore you when you are short.

lucia said...

"Women do ignore you when you are short"...it's not always true. First of all, it depends how short...if u are 150 cm it's ok, but lower than that....not quite. :D

I have a friend who only dates tall guys...she doesn't matter what colour is his skin....he has to be taller than her and thin. Other girls may like fat guys or short guys...it's all about preferences.

Second - you can compensate...through a big personality. Don't generalize..women don't ignore short guys...they just tend to test them a little bit longer :D.

third- It's all about perception...in your case...if u think u have a problem...you'll lose confidence in yourself. And that is the most important, because people tend to stay close to strong and confident people.

Don't complain about what you have or don't have...just use it to your best interest...i'm sure you'll find a way.:)

Anonymous said...

I like asian guys, cause they are smart, genuine, and respectful toward female but I do think they are a bit insecure. They don't like expressing their feeling due to fear of rejection but will end up loosing a good friend over it but wont open up about their feelings. I think its hot that a guy knows karate or kung fo, I'd love to see them work up a sweat doing karate or any form of martial arts. Its something to be proud of. :-) nothing to whine bout.

Anonymous said...

Some of the things you say are true but hey im half chinese half black living in Jamaica and im very familiar with my asian side. I think i may even identify being more asian but full chinese guys never want to date me because i am not full chinese. I also dont mind dating black guys either as i am black but i find a lot of them have a hard time understanding a lot of the chinese traditions i am so used to and some even find it funny or stupid which i find very disrespectful. In my experience the chinese guys i know only like pretty asian girls who are very girls or other girls who are very concerned about looks. They are not into smart young ladies especially those who are dare i say it of african descent

Anonymous said...

gosh.. it's stupid when people say that Asian men aren't that great performing on bed...
Korean men are attractive... they have that sexy oriental eyes, i can never stop staring into those and thinking dirty stuff... (ooops...)

Anonymous said...

There are asian men who actually think that it's an advantage to be asian.

I never had any problems dating women from all backgrounds.

I think it's best for asian men to learn from other asian men.

Where Can You Find These Guys?
==>Click Here

Anonymous said...

Hi, I share the opinion of those who think asian gentlemen are very cool and nice (I find them very attractive). I admire chinese, japanese, and korean cultures very much. I'd love to have friends of those countries (or any), if you want to contact me, my e-mail is: hairspraygrease@yahoo.com.mx

Greetings from Mexico

Anonymous said...

What about Muslims... I have been al over the world and everyone hates them. It's sad, but that just seems to be the way it is.

Anonymous said...

Nu-uh I've seen at least two asians that don't know kung-fu and are famous still i.e that asin from disturbia and 21 and that asian from the hangover ..sorry I forgot their names at the moment lol

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's true anymore that they have a dating disadvantage. Since Manga, J-Pop and K-Pop, lots of white women are into Asian men. There are also several Asian guy white girl dating sites with thousands of members around, for example http://www.hey-ai.com

Amy said...

I hate the stereotypes associated with Asian males. I am an American female and personally have a HUGE thing for asian men, particularly because I love asian culture and maybe because American men are waaay too cocky/confindent. A) I don't expect all asians to know martial arts B) How is anyone to know how big or small a guy is? It makes no sense to me. It shouldn't even be that big of an issue, honestly. I can't see how it could differ much among races. C) I love the shock that asian guys experience when I'm actually interested. I think it's terribly cute. And I don't see asian men as non-masculine. I have never understood these stereotypes. But personally, I don't mind them. More asians for me :)))

CommonSense said...

I think you are wrong.

Being an Asian man is hard. It is very hard.

No other group faces constant racial slurs, constant emasculation, and constant degradation.

No other group, not even Asian women, have any clue.

There is strong social pressure to not mention race slurs about blacks, hispanics and women. But asian men get tee off upon.

CommonSense said...

And to add...

No other group constantly sees members of the opposite sex date and marry outside of their own race.

Talk about backstabbing!

Being an Asian man is hardest for sure.

CommonSense said...

And to add...

No other group constantly sees members of the opposite sex date and marry outside of their own race.

Talk about backstabbing!

Being an Asian man is hardest for sure.

Calvin said...

Well, there are stereotypes about asian guys not able to date other kinds of girls other than their own kind...
A point i'm trying to make is, asian guys are known to be lame in many ways... including sizes, but i don't think we should give up trying to get the girl you think it's attractive, just don't act like what they all expect... if some of you guys can start wearing vans instead of nike running shoes all the time, put on some awesome t-shirts instead of NASA...and use some deodorent instead of soap, put on some dark jeans instead of light blue... i think you'll have a way higher chance of getting a girl. you gotta be funny, crack up jokes and sneak in your pickup line. be optimistic, be neat, and be funny...all races and nationalities has hot or good looking people, and there are girls out there looking for fun, not marriage... and i'm confident i'm one! cuz, i've hooked up with white girls before and its really not that hard... but the truth is there are some of you out there with too high expectations, work from the bottom and maybe you'll eventually learn how to be a good kisser, or have better performance... instead of whining about how asians can't get white girls, i'm sorry if you can't, cuz i'm optimistic and i get some stunning white girls...

Unknown said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCR5r6i1rQ8

Anonymous said...

Hi I am a black female who is 31 and almost a year ago I started talking to an Asian guye from China/Malaysia online. I didn't take it seriously since I never remembered Asian guys breaking a neck to get to me. But a few weeks ago he made a move and we spoke on the phone and all.Before hearing his voice I didn't think of Asian guys that much. I had friends and classmates etc but romantically I imagined that perhaps I wouldn't meet their standards. This guy is so smart sweet cute and very romantic. Another thing he could relate to me like he could read my mind or something. Definitely the most caring guy I've ever met but he's tough too. I didn't know there were even guys like this so yes I find myself looking up and learning about Asian males more now because I'm hooked. How sweet are you I want you to know that you are a rare gem loved and respected. : )

AngelaCorrias said...

Can I say that I don't think this is true? :)
Probably there still are such stereotypes, but allow me to say that they are pretty outdated, so if anybody still believes they are true, well those people have a problem.
Moreover, I currently live in Shanghai, and although I haven't dated any Chinese men, I'm meeting many, and they all are very nice. It would never cross my mind that Western men are any way better.

Anonymous said...

well, dunno about others, Im a white girl and I have an asian boyfriend, Ive always loved how asian guys look, I think of them as incredibly handsome sexy guys, Ive always wanted to have an asian boyfriend, and Im incredibly happy with him. Never had that stereotype towards asian man, well, my stereotype was that they are lot more hotter than other guys. I know many other girls who think the same way of asian guys. So, dunno, I have totally the opposite opinion:)

Anonymous said...

interesting comments. I am a gay Asian male and I used to think it was a negative thing. Then over time, I grew out of it. Guess what, since that, I am hooking up left and right, and with very hot guys. A lot of it has to do with your self esteem and self confidence and how you carry yourself. If you think the glass is half full, it will ALWAYS be half full. I am in my 40's now. I still have a high metabolism. I don't have any wrinkles and I still have a hot rocking body. And many people LOVE my smooth body and the fact that I don't ever have BO. In fact, I have never used any deodorant in my life and people just can't believe that. Not to mention people don't mess with me because they think I know Kung Fu. And it is great that others think that I am naturally smarter without even opening my mouth. On top of that, Asian cultures are more traditional and so we are more family oriented and we also tend to be more loyal. Which woman (or man) does not want that? Sure, many people think I have an exotic look. But at the end of the day, it really is about how you "package" yourself. I enjoy my race and being positively different. As Asian Americans, we are still a very small minority in this country. Come on fellows, let's be a positive role model for the rest of the world and show them how cool we really are.

GiaFox said...

This is bogus. You're complaining for nothing. All the Asian guys I know hold top positions in companies, or at least have very good jobs, or at least decent.

Plus, in Europe, at least, a lot of women like Asian men.

It's all about your attitude. You teach how to be seen, if you want.

Racial discrimination exists everywhere. Being Eastern European in the Western world isn't any easy. You get crap thrown at you, commented at, really dumb, retarded jokes and stuff like that. It's up to you how you take it. Heck, even Americans and Brits get made fun of here...lol Everyone gets their portion of mockery from others, it's the world. Learn to ignore it. And stop beating yourself down. Strive to perfect yourself and bring the best out of you and quit whining and complaining and making excuses.

GiaFox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

There is more racial discrimination in China than the US has ever seen. Slavery is alive and well in China, but you little animals keep criticizing the US. It is okay. One day we will attack you and you will see that your "army" is not as strong as you thought. You really think those poor people you have been mistreating for hundreds of years are going to give their lives for you?

Anonymous said...

Asians are not smarter than other races. In fact white people have invented 80-90% of everything in the world today (including the computer technology you're using to write this on)

Also, I see more muscular white and brown people than black so I also disagree with that and most blacks don't excel at any sports besides running and basketball. (in fact the worst hockey player of all time was black)

Eli Davis said...

Nerd above me, Your facts a wack, 80-90% of what we used today is made by whites? You get that from www.kkk.org or something? That's bullshit

I'm an asian male, I'm sorry i do not agree with you David, I will say the asian male race as a whole needs some work, because it's true most are shy/bad with ladies, but don't throw us all into that boat, Thanks

Anonymous said...

btw Calvin thumbs up

AlphaWolf said...

Reading this article makes me cringe, as a Chinese guy who gets the hottest white girls in my part of town.

Getting into school - The Asian stereotype helps here. We're assumed to be good with math and logically smarter

Getting a Job - Again, stereotype of Asians is that they are hard working and smart. Advantage to any Asian male

In Hollywood - Historically yes, this is changing drastically though with Jet Li, Jackie Chan, the cast of Fast and the Furious,etc.

Dating - Indian guys, black girls have it much worse. Stop complaining.

Unknown said...

If one stereotype is wrong is the smarter, good with math, logical. I grew up in Europe, and I find Asians average smart. The ones that come from Asia even less so, and very rigid, not creative, almost follow instructions to the letter from superiors, robots like.
Follower mentality, that doesn't strike me as smart either.
Conservative, reserved, not too independent, light years away from the "je ne sais quoi" that makes French men so irresistible.
However, I find them very sexy.

Anonymous said...

oh really? i never thought of that... im not even 18 yet and im american, but i only want to date asian men LOL i love asian men compared to other americans n shit.

Anonymous said...

@Thomas
There's no indication it is written by a white person.

I agree that being an asian male in western societies is unfair, on the other hand, it is said progress only happens with struggle.

M from Sydney, Australia said...

I have a relatively 'twisted' background. I am ethnically mixed with Chinese and Indian backgrounds. While I strongly identify with my 'Chinese' background, to many, I dont look it.
I have been living in Sydney Australia for 26 years now. Came here as a 22yo and finished off my tertiary education here. However my experiences have been rather mixed, in fact very negative especially in the last 10 years.
Ironically while many of my 'Asian' colleagues here complain about being stereotyped as feminine, small, unmasculine and other stupid and useless labels, your 'darker' brothers (like me) are stereotyped as sexist (and I also assume, dangerous, religious extremist, socially conservative etc).
Firstly I would like to state that I am not religious (eventhough I was born a Catholic), grew up in a female dominated family, and regard myself as a social progressive.
I have had too many examples of my assumed viewpoints being used against me. Several years ago, in a work environment, I was libelled by a white female work colleague. I do not know what was said, because the friends who were aware of the accusations claim they were baseless. However I do know that the complaints were not based on specific instances but on supposed attitudes and discriminatory actions. Realising this was a problem, I approached this female colleague through an independent 3rd party to resolve the 'problem' via a mediator. I was then told by this colleague that there was nothing to resolve as there was no problem. That was several years ago. Even up to today I still come across people who ignore me due to these alleged rumours. I have tried to explain myself but to no avail.
Today, I got another one. I joined a recreational sports club about 3 months ago. No discussion of politics etc. Just good clean fun. Lots of people my age with similar interests. Today I was confronted by one woman (who I have never met before) who accused me of ignoring her when she spoke to me, and that I had purposely turned away from her and spoke to another male colleague. I dont even remember this event! I explained that was not how it came across and apologised. This also explains the negative cold shoulder reaction I was getting by many of the 'regulars' in the group.
Now that I have had several hours to think about it, I should not have apologised to this person. How dare she accuse me of doing something that I did not do.
As a minority male you are guilty until proven innocent. It is pretty much the 'Sidney Poitier' syndrome; you have to be more 'white' than the 'whites' themselves. I am seen as sexist because of the negative stereotypes Australians have about foreigners, especially coloured males and Muslim males.
This type of treatment begets anger and resentment which in turn becomes extremism. I strongly believe injustice and racism is one of the main causes of extremism among non-white males in the western world. Personally I think I know what they feel.
Racism suxs.

Anonymous said...

i am a korean male born and raised in ny. i work at a beauty supply. at first i was not interested in any blacks or indians. but it slowly grew. i had my first black gf for 2 and a half years. man..... do i have some stories. LOL. but basically. i want to say its all about swag. if you carry yourself right and is confident. you can pretty much gain any girls interest. they are thoroughly confused when an average looking korean guy is talking to the hottest girl like they are nothing. try to gain interests by being smart funny and witty. i find that black women in the hood with moderate intellegence crave some intellegent conversation. anyways, right now im with an ex stripper. my bad ass black baby boo. we confuse the shit outta everyone where we go. hood, flushing, my white suburbia. but we got the inside joke. we laughing at everyone. and i love sticking it to the black man and fuck all their hottest chicks. rofl. eat my medium sized asian dick, black man. i made ur girl come 3 times last night before i busted on her ass then i took a shot of antibiotics

Robert H said...

I find your concepts fascinating and your read right up my trend of thought. Jackie Chan I did meet on the air as a radio news talk caller and yes it does drive me nuts to know the Asian man never gets the girl in Hollywood it just is but if I were bald it would because I pulled my hair out because of this. I know where you are coming from. The fact is Asians have larger heads but smaller as everybody knows it and yes this does not impress society as a whole but I believe Asians will or can change but what Asian really needs to? It isn't our objective to impress the world but to make the world a better place for all. My two main blogs I have written is called It Never Takes A Genius and leaving comments on it is hard to do but it can be done but I'm working on it for more than a year. A genius would solve the problem in a split second. I've learned to draw pictures by tracing displayed in my blog you might find it interesting unlike any other pictures traced in as much as I've been told all artists trace what I do best is my love for writing a story all kinds of stories. I am Asian and yes through my knowledge of the martial arts I can bring down an elephant without the use of modern weapons but please send me no elephants; so I do exaggerate a little.

I like your modesty in being Asian. In my blog sometimes in a round about way it is an answer to where the nation of China is going. I am thinking about it yes indeed.


Robert Ah-Tye

Jason said...

Assuming you are correct, (which you are not in my opinion because I only need to find one example that says otherwise and that's easy "myself") what about the Asians in Asia? All of your points are based on Asians in the states but your title goes as far as to say it "Sucks to Be Asian Male," when not even a half of Asian men live in the states.

Anonymous said...

I don't see how being Asian can have any disadvantages; if anything, there are only advantages. Asians tend to have higher levels of educational attainment, longer life expectancies and lower obesity rates, and are seen as polite and law-abiding. They don't fall under the stereotypical idea of an American who is fat, stupid, monolingual, etc. I would say in all realms of life, whether it be school, work, or dating, Asian males aren't disadvantaged at all, especially if they live in areas where there is a high population of Asians. Also, it's important to note the difference between Asians from Asia and Asians who grew up in the West; Western Asians tend to have perfect ability in English and tend to have more cultural capital than those from Asia since they have a better understanding of American culture, are more assertive when dealing with non-Asians, etc. So I believe a lot of disadvantages mentioned here may affect Asians from Asia and not necessarily Asian Americans.

Ming said...

Great thoughts. Most of these comments are plainly more of the same. The one Asian American guy who says that you are complaining about nothing, blah blah. Then there are the comments whereby the non-Asian girl speaks highly of the rare gem, not that it is bad. And the comments in which the Asian pretty boy gets a white girl and can’t comprehend the fact that you are referring to how popular mainstream society view the Asian race in the US, NOT whether or not it is possible for an Asian guy to hook up with women of all races. And lastly, all the dumb fu-cks who claim that we are in a post-racial society. All people see race and subconsciously have preconceptions about them that they don’t control. The subconscious mind is very fast and complex and is the foundation for conscious acts that may be discriminatory but they are CONSCIOUSLY in denial or are not aware of it. Your concerns are proven. What people don’t understand is that the MALE part about Asian males not having an advantage is the crux of the topic. Men are expected to go after the woman, take initiative. But when US mainstream society NEGATIVELY portray and spread portrayals of Asian males, it affects the confidence and self-perception of Asian American men which in turn causes for disadvantages. We are culturally at a disadvantage when it comes to women due to the fact that there is NO tradition of Asian men sharing “game”. Fu-ck whether or not we get the job. Many of us study twice as hard to be the lab rat while the white guy who is average manages the department. We not only deserve every professional job that has been obtained; we should actually get MORE. It is NOT an advantage being Asian in the workforce. That is because when it comes to non-science/math positions, we are considered the same if not worse due to the stereotype that we are socially inept. But the big one is that we have it harder than every other race when it comes to a biological right as a human being, which is getting the girl and having kids. That is because we have been pounded into low self-confidence as a man in the US. And yeah, the pretty boy who is reading this is in denial that his race puts him into a subpar position in society even though he does get many different women. Yes, a minority of women of all races do find Asian men sexy. But the majority of women have preconceptions that they are not aware of and discriminate accordingly. Or they just treat the Asian male like any other guy, which is neither advantageous or the inverse. Lastly, Asian women put us at the bottom due to the fact that they know Asian men DON’T have an advantage. Women, regardless of race try to get the best that they can get since they are wired that way. Hence Asian women go for white guys in highly disproportionate numbers. So all in all, being an Asian male is very very difficult. Even the Black guy is viewed as being endowed in bed and getting laid is a God given right. We Asian men have it twice as hard in this part of life. We have to have twice the confidence to overcome and approach the girl without doubts. Society has pounded us to NOT have the confidence since we are a racial prop for laughter and novelty. So yes we can get women of all races but you have to overcome the social/psychological barriers. And we don’t have an advantage in hiring unless it is for a lab rat to shut up, not be social, and work. Of all races, Asians are the only ones in which the females refuse to date their racial male counterparts in large numbers. If you overcome, great, but don’t use your one single egotistical experience to discount the barriers for the race of men. It’s like a Black guy who does make six figures saying that Black men don’t have a disadvantage getting a job. Asian men do need to progress and improve. It is difficult, and hence not an advantage being of the Asian race in the US.

Anonymous said...

wow u r really stupid think about it we r in a country where there's all type of people no one is perfect all the way if u were to go to a different country just think how u will stand out

Anonymous said...

You are correct in every way. Racial stereotypes benefit asian women, but hurt asian men. This is not an opinion. There is clear statistical data showing this to be a FACT.

Anonymous said...

uhmm cocky much???

Anonymous said...

Well I'm a hispanic girl (Mexican) and I deffenetly like Asian men. I have not had the opportunity to date one yet, but I really hope I can sometime in the near future, so I can live it instead of just going for everything people say. When I find me an Asian I let you guys know haha

Unknown said...

I completely agree. I'm Korean and I live in an almost completely white neighborhood. At school people always make racist remarks and I feel like I cannot date anyone but Asian girls. People tell me to stop taking all the jobs even though that's not even true (as you said) and I have no control over that. Also, today someone made a chart of the class and highlighted where all the minorities sat. Every laughed as they passed it around and I have never felt so low in my life. I really wish that other people could be more accepting of all other races.

Anonymous said...

I liked Asians as a whole since I was young, then again I was pretty tolerant towards everyone. I think that most Asian men are handsome, more so than the average white guy.
And honestly? So what if they're shorter. I really could care less about height.

Anonymous said...

I'm a white male, and I can see it sucks to be an Asian guy.
I wrestled all my life. After countless of naked weigh-ins, believe me, Asian guys do have smaller cock, but more noticeably smaller balls.
Being a jock, I have fucked many Asian chicks, they all love my cock being bigger than a smaller dick of their Asian bfs and husbands.

Its a genetic makeup and testosterone production difference tied up with social stratification.

Many Asian men in western society seem struggled with insecurity and inferiority in masculine validation, particularly, athletic and sexual performance.

Admit it or not, all men are not created equal.
There is a reason why muscular guys get more attention/respect...even from guys.

Anonymous said...

all of this applies mostly to the unattractive, fobby asian men. asian men who are good looking and westernized actually do quite well in america and are actually seen as superior to most white men in many ways. for one, they can get any asian girl they want and will also be able to attract just about any white girl who isn't a conservative racist.

remember that the asian girls who tend to date out of their race are generally the less attractive ones who wouldn't attract asian men, as asian men have higher standards when it comes to asian women. also, all four points mentioned in the original post make no sense, and here's why:

Getting into school - the majority of universities do not care about your race or gender, so there is no disadvantage here. only a few of the top private colleges such as ivies do because they get so many applications, and even then, it applies equally to asian male and female applicants. remember that asians who apply to these schools generally get into at least one, so it's not like they're missing out on much.

Getting a job - again, this is not an issue since asian men actually make a higher average salary than any other race/gender mix. asian men would at least have it better than asian women as they're more likely to be promoted. remember that an asian man who is good looking would actually have an advantage here due to the Halo effect, as for any given job, most of the applicants will not be that good looking.

In Hollywood - this is irrelevant because vast majority of asians have no desire to work in hollywood. it's even hard for whites to be successful because for every white actor who gets a part, there are thousands that never had a chance. remember that hollywood also is useless when it comes to real life because a good looking asian dude can still easily get girls because he is simply inherently desirable.

In dating - already mentioned in the last point, perhaps the unattractive fobby asian men will have issue here, but even then, they can always date/marry fobby asian women. good looking, westernized asian men have an advantage here and are actually superior to most white men even.

if anything, i would say that being a white american has certain disadvantages in places outside of the US because non-americans tend to dislike white americans due to all the "ugly american" stereotypes; however, asian american men are treated with much more respect when they travel abroad as they don't fall under these stereotypes.

Anonymous said...

My friend. I read your post and empathize with you. I am a firm believer that we (human beings) truly are created equal and every single one of us (male, female, asian, black, white, you name it) can fall into the pitfalls and traps of lament when it comes to the disparages that are particular disposition has placed on us. I have felt the same thoughts towards my own race/gender.

I do believe that love is the only answer. We're here for just a short period of time and then we go back off into the spirit/space realm maybe? One thing we do know is that nothing is permanent. So we just try to make the most of it.