Staying Out of the Friend Zone

Thursday, July 31, 2008

I've actually had this conversation twice in the last few days, so I thought it would be a good idea to most my thoughts on the subject.

Growing up, I was very "popular" with the ladies. My problem was that this popularity did not translate into dates, it translated into me having lots of female friends. For some reason, I get getting stuck in the "Friend Zone". Much like the Phantom Zone, once in the Friend Zone it pretty much is impossible to get out. I actually was able to do it twice, no small feat, but admittedly I was never great friends with the two girls to begin with.

However, the trick should be never to get into the Friend Zone. It should be avoided at all cost. You know what I'm talking about. You meet a great girl. You go out a few times. You think things are great. But when the subject comes up of you in a romantic relationship, she looks at you incredulously and says, "Oh, I don't think of you that way. I thought we were just friends"

It took me a while to finally get the hang of this, but now I can tell you for sure how to never ever be put in the Friend Zone unless you want to be there. Here is what you need to do.

  • Go into the relationship with the full intention of NOT being friends with this girl. Accept the fact that if you aren't going to be dating the girl, you will have no relationship whatsoever. You have enough friends already. It's OK if you don't make a new one. There is no need to be the "nice guy".
  • Not sure how interested she is in you? Simple test during your first date. Plan your first date earlier in the day. Make sure it is short. Make sure you have a plan which can extend the date but do not tell your date about it. Say you go out to play mini-golf on your first date. After you play, suggest going out for drinks or a bite to eat. If she agrees, you are good to go. Girls will end the date if they are not interested. They will find a way to extend the date if they are interested.
  • Make sure during the course of conversation, you bring up the fact that you are on a date. Call it what it is. Just talk about how you are having a good time on the DATE. Maybe share a horror story of another first DATE that you had. Mention what you think would make a great second DATE.
  • Get the kiss. Nothing says you are not friends like kissing her. Seriously, get the kiss on the first night. If she pulls away from the kiss, you pretty much have your answer. No need to attack her with your tongue hanging out, but make sure you get a kiss on the lips from her. This will ensure you are not put in the friend zone.
Simple as that. Follow these simple rules, and you will stay out of the Friend Zone, and hopefully find yourself a new girlfriend. Do you have any tips for people on how they can avoid falling into this dreaded trap?


Anonymous said...

good post!

i also found this on the topic:

i felt the sting of the trap only when i realized how much time & effort i wasted on 'friends' just to get invited to their marriage, where anyone of them hardly remembered my b'day.

also...gals are like 'dead rats' they are never fun most of the time, they don't make a great companion as female friend either.

chck this too:

-some guy