Post Date: When do you have to call?

Thursday, June 02, 2005
So when do you have to call after a date to say that you aren't interested. For example, if you have only been on one date, is it the right thing to call to tell the person that you aren't really interested or should you just not call and let it fade into oblivion.

I tend to call no matter what just to let the person know so that they are never thinking, "Hmmm, I wonder what ever happened to him?" But I can definitely see the advantage of just letting it go, as there is no messy or awkward conversation. I'm good at awkward conversations and have no problem freely speaking my mind but just curious what others think.

As for me, I think, even though I always call, that for most people the threshold is the 3rd date. If you have been on 3 dates and are no longer interested, it is common courtesy to call the person to tell them you are no longer interested.


Kat said...

i am horrible at awkward calls. once i open my mouth things just start coming out. it's so surreal, like i am listening to myself but can't control what i'm saying. dangerous.

David Cho said...

Things start coming out? Like what?

Whatever you do, don't use the "it's not you, but it's me" line.

Kat said...

i don't say, "it's not you, it's me." i say, "we're just not jivin'"

David Cho said...

Wow, I like that, Kat. Can I go out with you just so I get to hear all that stuff?

Kat said...

endearing david, but i've a one track mind and right now it's occupied.

David Cho said...

Wow, I like that line too.

Kat said...

even better - it's completely true.

Jose Anes said...

Can't you tell right away (during the date) if you like her or not?

If that is the case, set the expectations right in the date.

Set the expectation to do another date later, or set the expectation that you will be too busy during the next few months and it is highly unprobable that you will be able (or want to) make another date.

Be straightforward. The girl is probably an adult and can probably take it. You will allow her to sleep better and stop thinking about you.

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